Pain, shame and love
by Midnight-Kitsune11
Summary: What happens when Kyo gets sick of life as the zodiac cat, the monster? 1st chaptered and published fanfiction so reviews would be great. I do not own Fruits Basket. KyoYuki. Warnings: Mild yaoi, self harm, language.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

This is my second fanfic, my first with multiple chapters, and reviews would be great. Also if you have any ideas about what should happen, tell me and i'll try to include them. If I get any reviews for chapters 1 and 2 I'll continue the story, if not I probably won't so if you like it review! :)

Chapter one (Kyo POV)

'Useless, pathetic, worthless. Thats me, the zodiac cat. The one forever isolated. Always looked down upon and scorned for simply being who I am. But do you know what's worse? I can't even beat that damn rat. I hate him! Well actually that's the worst part. I was stupid enough to be tricked by the rat and stupid enough to fall in love with that same damn rat.  
>Stupid, Hopeless, Weak. A waste of space in this world. A waste of food, air and water needed so desperately by others far more worthy than me.<br>Scared, untrusting, stubborn. Too scared to end this torture once and for all but too untrusting to ask for help. Too untrusting and stubborn to tell anyone that there's anything wrong and too proud to admit if someone notices, just thinking up some witty remark or yelling at them and storming off.  
>Sly, cunning, deceitful. Too smart to let them catch me and weeks later they still haven't.<br>Daring, paranoid, satisfied. Some of the emotions that swirl and cloud my mind as I feel blood trickling along my skin. I feel drawn to it yet ashamed with myself for being so weak.'

I couldn't stop myself watching it and once it stopped bleeding I made another cut and did the same again adding yet another mark to the mess that was my arm. The cloth I found to wipe the blood away with was almost entirely red now and the smell of blood was becoming overpowering. I started to feel slightly lightheaded and I reached for the first aid kit I kept in my room to get some bandages and antiseptic wipes. Instinctively, I began to lick my wounds causing stinging pain to shoot through my arm, make me hiss in pain and the metallic taste of blood to fill my mouth. I guess that's just another trait of being the cat. I then wrapped the bandages around my arm and tied a knot, no longer needing the wipes. Then in the early hours of the morning, I could finally fall asleep. It was the same every night.


	2. Routine

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

This is my second fanfic, my first with multiple chapters, and reviews would be great. Also if you have any ideas about what should happen, tell me and i'll try to include them. If I get any reviews for chapters 1 and 2 I'll continue the story, if not I probably won't so if you like it review! :)

Chapter Two (Kyo POV)

I woke early as usual but only due to my body's natural alarm clock. I was still tired from my late night although I was beginning to adjust to this lack of sleep. I trudged to the bathroom and grabbed a towel. I quickly showered, dressed and made my way downstairs. I didn't go for my usual morning run that day because it usually just ended with me fainting or barely being able to make it to school so I decided it wasn't worth it, I just didn't have the energy from my lack of sleep, lack of food and blood loss. You see, for the last few weeks I had been thinking, there are loads of people in the world dying from malnutrition and there I was, a worthless, pathetic baka neko eating all the food I wanted, whenever I wanted, every day! So I was only eating the bare minimum; what was necessary to survive and enough to stop Tohru and the others getting suspicious, which they didn't seem to have, not that they would have cared if they had anyway. I grabbed the carton of milk from the fridge and took a long drink straight from the carton. I'm the cat, what do you expect? By this time the others would have begun to wake up so, to avoid being forced to eat breakfast or come up with some kind of excuse, I left the house early. Once I reached school I went straight to the roof to think. I pulled my sleeve up and checked my wounds. Healing but not very fast. I sighed. It really was getting too hot to always wear long sleeves now but if I didn't people will see the cuts. The dilemma. One I had yet to figure out a solution to.  
>'That's the bell. Better make my way to another day of false insults at Yuki and false arrogance and hope which is my front to hide the self-hatred. Ironic, eh?'<p>

Quite a short chapter this time but they'll be longer in the future.  
>Remember to review if you want me to continue. :)<p> 


	3. Exhaustion

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Same as before. If you review you get more chapters because if no one wants to read it I'm wasting my time writing it. Doesn't have to be long or anything. Just something would be good. :P

Thanks for the review from 'major ed groupie', my second ever review, and the alert and favourite from 'West Coast November', my firsts ever! :D

Now, to the story.

Chapter Three (Kyo POV)

The day passed quickly and uneventfully as always until the last lesson when it started to rain. I was already exhausted from the late night and rain always drains my energy. I could feel my eyelids becoming heavy and my head falling towards the table so I quickly raised it again with much effort. As soon as the bell rang I told Tohru I was going to visit Shishou at the dojo and left. I found my way to the roof under some cover by supporting myself on the wall and proceeded to lay on the ground and listen to the rain and soon fell asleep.

I was awoken by somebody shaking my shoulder. 'Some nerve, I was trying to sleep.' I begrudgingly opened my eyes and could feel fatigue pressing down on me, refusing to let me get up. I saw a blurry figure slowly coming int focus. Purple tinted hair, pale skin and purpley colour eyes (A/N In the anime his hair looks kind of purple and since the manga is in black and white I just went with the anime colours). Only one person fit that description. Yuki. It was still raining and I was freezing from sleeping outside for however long it had been. I sat up slowly and said "What are you doing here, you damn rat?"

"I didn't think you would be going to the dojo when you could barely stay awake in class so I came to see where you were really going." He put his hand out to help me up and I accepted it, confused by this sudden kindness toward me. 'Why would he help me? I'm just a stupid cat.' "Come on, let's get going. I'm cold and you must be freezing." Yuki said in a harsh tone even thought the words were surprisingly kind. Not that he thought Yuki wasn't kind, he just wasn't to him. "Alright, I'm coming." I muttered while trying to take a step forward and trying to keep my balance. 'Come on Kyo, move. I don't need help and I will not let myself look weak, especially not in front of Yuki of all people.'

We walked in silence until we reached the forest on the edge of Shigure's property. "Speed up cat." Yuki called back over his shoulder. I growled at him. The world was spinning and I was walking from tree to tree for support. My legs felt heavy and I was struggling to lift my feet from the ground. I wanted nothing more than to fall on the ground and pass out but I refused to show weakness, at least not willingly. Eventually I could no longer support my own weight and fell to my knees. swaying and feeling like I was going to puke. Yuki must have heard the leaves rustle beneath me for he chose that moment to turn around with a confused and slightly shocked expression. "What are you doing, you baka neko?"

"What does it (pant) matter (pant) to you, (pant) you damn (pant) rat?" I retorted in between panting from exhaustion. "It matters because you're slowing me down. It may be raining but it's never made you thins weak before." Yuki said, probably in an attempt to anger me and get me to start walking again. "You wanna fight, you (pant) damn rat?" I shouted pr at least planned to but it ended up as more of a mumble so to make my point I forced myself to stand and aimed a punch at Yuki's head but of course being Yuki, he just grabbed my arm to stop it. This made me grit my teeth from pain in a hope to stop from crying out but still I let out a whimper. I saw the strange look on Yuki's face and knew it had been a stupid mistake. He lifted my sleeve up revealing a bandage wrapped around my arm and covered in my blood. "What is this?" he demanded with unexpected seriousness. 'Why would he care that I injured myself? No one's ever noticed or cared about me before. The fatigue, the lack of food, the constant long sleeved t-shirts even in the late months of spring. Why would anyone care about me, the cat? The monster. I'm weak, he said so himself only a few moments ago. "My arm, what does it look like?"

"Fine, if you're going to be a smart-ass, let's try this." He put more pressure on my arm making me wince and and bite my lip so hard I drew blood. "What happened to your arm?" he asked in a low, commanding, threatening tone that made me want to tell him everything but my rational mind only allowed me a feeble lie. "I cut my arm on a tile on the roof the other day. Now would you let go of my arm?" I retorted. He looked sceptical but dropped my arm and looked me directly in the eye. "This isn't over." With that he turned and continued walking and I tried to follow, that is until I transformed into a little orange cat. Hearing the tell-tale poof of a transformation Yuki turned, picked up me and my clothes and carried me, running, the rest of the way to the house and out of the rain. We entered and Yuki took off his shoes and put them neatly next to the door. He then proceeded to place me on the couch and next to my clothes in a messy heap. "You'd better be glad Tohru's at a friend's house today or she would be freaking out right now." I heard him say as he walked off to some other part of the house. 'Did he seem upset just then?'

Longer chapter today. I will try to update everyday if possible but I have exams and coursework etc. to do so it may not be possible.

By the way please tell me if something I write is wrong (I check it myself and I sometimes miss things) like if the characters are really OOC because i'm trying to make them seem as much like themselves as I can or if I spell something wrong and i'll change it.

By the way Kyo is my favourite character (and Haru) so it will get better for him soon. :)


	4. Confusion

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Thanks for the reviews from:

'donna', I'm glad you like the story and keep looking because there are loads of great fanfictions to read. :)

'Roza Belikov13', I'm glad you like it too and as you can see I am indeed writing more and also thanks for adding the story as a favourite. 

Chapter Four (Yuki POV)

I entered my room and closed the door behind me. I lay down on my bed and began to think. 'I hurt Kyo and he doesn't trust me enough to tell me the whole truth and for some reason that upsets me. It's always been that way so why do I suddenly feel very disappointed by it. I can't expect him to trust me, I've spent about half of my life insulting and defeating him. Why would he trust me after that? Could it possibly be that I'm...'

I lost my train of thought at that point as I heard a shout from downstairs announcing that dinner was ready. I vowed to myself that I would make it my mission to find out what Kyo was hiding and figure out what these foreign feelings are that i have begun experiencing. With that in mind I made my way down to the meal where Kyo, Shigure and Tohru would already be waiting. As expected, the other three inhabitants of Shigure's house (Kyo back to human form and dressed) were sitting around the table waiting for me to join them to start the meal. I took a seat between Kyo and Shigure. "Itadakimasu!" everyone said and we began to eat. All through dinner I noticed Kyo glancing at me with a expression of curiosity, worry and apprehension. I knew he was worried I was going to ask him again why there were bandages on his arm. I planned to do so but not in front of Tohru and Shigure. Tohru would freak out and while I think it's kind of sweet that she worries so much about us, her overreacting still gets on my nerves sometimes. Shigure would probably assume it was the result of one of our fights. I hope it wasn't, I always go easy on Kyo in our fights because I don't want to hurt him.  
>'I don't think I hate him anymore but I'm not sure what I feel instead. I want him to trust me, to talk to me, to accept my help once in a while. I want to trust him, to get to know him, to protect him. What kind of relationship do I want with him because I don't think it's one of rivals anymore?'<p> 


	5. Finding out

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Thanks for the review from:

'Krazii'- I have updated quickly, I think so at least. I might get a beta for my next story but I'm not really sure how the whole beta-reader thing works yet. As I said in the warning this is mild yaoi but if you want to make an alternate or extra chapter with a lemon or something and publish it, feel free to but please let me know so I can read it and mention me! :P

Finally, the chapter is here where Yuki find out but what will happen now?

Chapter Five (Normal POV)

"Kyo, are you feeling alright? You haven't eaten very much of your dinner. Do you not like it?" Tohru said getting increasingly frantic by the minute. "I'm fine Tohru and the food is fine. I'm just not very hungry." Kyo replied. Yuki, Shigure and Tohru looked surprised by the calm response from the usually short-tempered cat. "Tohru is right, you haven't eaten much. Come to think of it nobody actually sees you eat any substancial amount of food any more, Kyo. You should eat with us more." Shigure said thoughtfully. At this comment Yuki seemed to have a look of great worry and disbelief on his face while Kyo tensed up and looked even more worried than anyone else. "I'm fine, just tired. I'm going to bed now." Kyo said getting up and walking up stairs to his room leaving over half his meal on his plate. Yuki had noticed the change of behaviour and lack of energy in the orange-haired teen lately and was confused about just what was going on. He hdn't paid any attention to it until he found out about Kyo's arm. Now he had an idea of what was happening but didn't want to believe it true. "I'm going to head off to bed now too I think." Yuki said politely as he made his way up the stairs barey noticing the replied good nights from Shigure and Tohru. He had no intention of going to bed, not to sleep at least, he had a lot of thinking to do.

The next day was a near repeat of previous and every other day, until they got home. Tohru was at work and Shigure was at the main house so only Yuki and Kyo were in the house. "Why are you so slow recently, baka neko?" Yuki asked after reaching the house at a very slow pace set by Kyo. "I'm not slow! You trying to start something?" Kyo shouted back as he directed a punch at Yuki's face. Yuki blocked it and returned a kick to the stomach which Kyo dodged. This continued for a while until his bandages began to fall out from his sleeve. Yuki took this opportunity to find out some of what was going on. He grabbed Kyo's arm and pulled his sleeve up past his elbow. Kyo didn't put up much of a fight as he was exhausted from fighting. Yuki gasped at what he saw and his eyes widened while Kyo took a sudden interest in the floor beneath his feet. All up Kyo's inner forearm were cuts of various ages, some were barely visible and some were reopened and bleeding. "Kyo, what have you done?" Yuki whispered, shock noticable in his voice. Kyo couldn't think of an even half-way believable excuse so he stayed silent. "I'm calling Hatori." Yuki announced.

Dun, dun, dun...  
>Review and i'll update quicker. :)<p> 


	6. Doctor

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Thanks for the review from:

'zweichaos' and thanks for adding the story to alert and favourite. :)  
>'Krazii'- Thanks the info was really useful and i'll keep it in mine for my next story. If you send me it that would be great. :)<br>'major ed groupie'- Yay! Thanks. Kind of worried about letting you lot down now. :P  
>'mousecat'- Glad you like it. :)<br>-

Chapter Six (Kyo POV)

"No! Don't call Hatori." I shouted. I was panicking now. Yuki knowing was bad enough but if he called Hatori most of the main house, including Akito, would know how weak I was. That thought was enough to make me want to spontaniously combust right there in the living room. "I have to Kyo. Any one of these could get infected, they might already be." Yuki replied quietly. What I had done had obviously bothered him but I couldn't figure out why. I grabbed his arm, "Don't call him. Please." I whispered. I was practically begging and I was too scared to be ashamed. He pulled his arm out of my grasp. "I'm sorry." He said before walking off to phone Hatori. I sat shakily down on the couch and I couldn't think straight with all the emotions coursing through me. Anger, regret, depression, fatigue, fear, shock, confusion, all racing through my mind and clouding my thoughts. I heard, from what sounded like a long distance away, one side of a phone conversation. I tried to focus on it.

"Hatori?"  
>"Hello. It's Yuki. Could you come and check on Kyo please?"<br>"He...His...He...Ermmm... Well you'll see when you get here."  
>"Ok, see you then."<p>

Kyo then focused back on trying to manage his emotions. When Yuki re-entered the room he looked normal but I could see the confusion, worry, anger and what looked like a look of failure. 'What does he think he failed at? He never fails at anything. Why is he worried about me anyway? He hates me. That's why I can't tell him how I really feel.' "Why do you care if my arm gets infected? I would stop fighting you..." 'and it would rid the world of my pathetic existance.' I finished in my head. "You're right, it would make my life easier but Tohru would hate me if I did nothing and who would I spar against. Sometimes I piss you off just to spar you. I'm not sure why I care, I wouldn't have a few months ago but now I do. I don't think I hate you anymore so I guess I should help you." Yuki finished quietly and looked down at his feet and blushed as if he'd said something he wasn't sure he should have.

Even in my fearful state I could feel a smile spread across my face. 'He doesn't hate me! Yuki doesn't hate me. There's still some hope although i'm fairly sure he isn't gay but at least he doesn't hate me.' I must have looked strange sitting motionless on the couch grinning like an idiot because Yuki looked up and gave me a very funny look which made me laugh slightly. I stood up and walked over to him, trying to find as much courage as I could on the way. I stopped in front of him and without looking up to see his expression, hugged him. I knew he would probably kick me, punch me, hit me or attack me in someway and then go back to hating me but I was just too relieved to care about the consequences. What I did not expect was for him to hug me back. Then he pulled back suddenly and pushed me back onto the couch. I thought it was because he was repulsed by my actions or something but I then heard the front door close and Hatori entered the room.

This chapter was kind of short mainly about their thoughts.  
>Does anyone have any ideas what should happen in the next chapter because I'm not entirely sure yet and suggestions would be really helpful.<br>Keep reading and reviewing. :D


	7. Solution

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Thanks for the reviews from 'West Coast November' (I have taken your advice and put new speech on a new line) and 'mousecat'.  
>It's great that I'm getting reviews for almost every chapter. It really cheers me up and keeps me writing. :)<br>Also thanks for the plot suggestions from 'major ed groupie' and 'zwiechaos', they really helped and parts have been included.  
>Thanks for the favourite and alert added by WinterValentine. :)<p>

Sorry for the slow update but I couldn't decide where to go with the story. Keep reviewing and suggesting things. It really helps and I like to know what people think of the story. :D

Chapter Seven (Yuki POV)

I felt that I wanted to keep hugging Kyo. I couldn't figure out where this new idea had come from. Could it be because I've never actually been properly hugged before without transforming. 'Yeah, that must be it. I'm not gay. I shouldn't enjoy being hugged by Kyo.' I heard Hatori talking so I focused back onto the situation at hand. I could think about that later.  
>"So what is it that I need to check up on?" Hatori enquired.<br>"It's Kyo's arm. He needs it checked on to make sure it is not infected. Also it would be greatly appretiated if this could stay between the three of us." Yuki responded. I saw the grateful look directed at me by Kyo and smiled in return. Hatori did not see this exchange as he had walked over to sit by Kyo on the couch.  
>"I'm sure that can be arranged. Kyo, please remove your shirt, I will need to be able to see your arm properly." I felt my heart skip a few beats at these words. Sure I'd seen Kyo shirtless before but now seemed different. Kyo looked worried but did as he was ordered anyway. Kyo took off his shirt and judging by the expression of shock on Hatori's face he saw the same as sight as I did.<br>Kyo was very thin and his ribs were visible. I was shocked, the last time I had seen him shirtless only a few months ago, he had been tanned, muscular and overall gorgeous although I didn't think so at the time. Then my mind flashed back to what Shigure had said a few days ago about Kyo not eating much lately. From the severity and the time scale, the only time he must have been eating was the small amount he ate with us at dinner in the evening although I was no doctor so this was only an estimate.  
>"Why are you so thin Kyo?" Hatori questioned, already over the shock of what he had just found out.<br>"I don't know." Kyo grunted back at him. He clearly didn't want to say what the real reason was but he had to. I was worried about him and right now I didn't care about admitting it.  
>"Kyo, you have to tell us so we can help you. Anything you say won't be found out by anyone else." I said in an attempt to make him explain. He sighed and seemed to be mentally debating with himself over whether to tell us or not. I went and sat next to him and put my hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. His head snapped up, eyes wide. I briefly wondered if I had hurt him somehow but dismissed the idea.<br>"Tell me Kyo."I said softly. He sighed again and his head dropped so his hair was covering most of his face. He shook his head and continued to stare at his feet.  
>"I see."Hatori said in a professional manner.<br>"Fine." I stated, very disappointed which Kyo and Hatori seemed to notice. Kyo looked guilty but said nothing.  
>"Well Kyo, in order to assure this will not happen again I ask that Yuki keep you under constant supervision. Yuki, can you do that?" Hatori enquired. Yuki nodded vaguely while trying to proccess what the doctor had just said. Kyo remained still but had looked up with wide eyes and jaw dropped looking ready to protest. He didn't.<br>"Good. Well then I'll be leaving now but I will be back to check on you again soon. Yuki, I expect you to keep an eye on him and keep him away from sharp objects, and Kyo, I expect you to keep yourself safe and healthy from now on." That said, he left.

Not a bad chapter length this time, in my opinion at least. Updates should be faster now as I have figured out what to write next. The next few chapters will be up when I transfer them to the computer from paper.  
>Hope you liked the chapter and the story so far and let me know what you think of it. :)<p> 


	8. Thoughts

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Not a very good chapter name but i couldn't think of one so I just went with this.  
>Thanks for the reviews from West Coast November and major ed groupie and thanks for the alert add by Wulfie89.<br>This is a short chapter and not much happens but it joins chapters 7 and 9 together (it would still make sense if you skipped it though.)  
>Thanks to everyone still reading and please read and review. :)<p>

Chapter 8

"Alright, well you'd better find a sleeping bag and put your stuff in my room then." Yuki said, still slightly dazed by all that had happened in the last few hours.  
>"Why should I stay in your room on the floor? Why ot stay in my room and YOU can sleep on the floor?"<br>"Because I don't know what have in your roomin the way of sharp objects. I don't even knowwhat you used." Yuki replied calmly.  
>"A knife I took from the kitchen." Kyo muttered.<br>"I see." Yuki responded, "Now go put your stuff in my room and I'll be up in minute."  
>"Fine." Kyo mumbled and went up the stairs to move his things.<br>Once Yuki heard Kyo moving around upstairs he sank down onto the couch and the calm expression was replaced with a sad, pained one.  
>"Why did you do that Kyo? You idiot. Didn't you think about how many people you would hurt? You didn't only hurt yourself Kyo, I can only imagine how Tohru will react to this when we tell her, as we will have to. She already worries so much about us. Why did you do it Kyo?" Yuki asked no one.<p>

The next chapter will be longer but this seemed like a good place to end the chapter so I did.  
>Because the chapter is so short I'm updating 2 chapters today. Aren't I nice? :P<p> 


	9. Moving in

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Another shit chapter name but oh well.  
>2nd update today although also quite short. :)<p>

Chapter 9

When Yuki entered his room a while later with his and Kyo's schoolbags which had been left forgotten by the door.  
>"Hey." Yuki said.<br>"Hi." Kyo answered.  
>"You get all your stuff in now?" Yuki enquired.<br>"Yeah." Kyo replied, "Trying to find somewhere to put it so it isn't in the way."  
>"Just put it under the desk. I can do my homework downstairs."<br>"Okay. Thanks." Kyo muttered. 'When did our conversations become so civilised and polite. He's being so nice. I bet he pities me. I can't stand it when people pity me!'  
>"I don't need your pity! Don't treat me nicely just because you think i'm a pathetic idiot with issues. I don't need everyone feeling sorry for me!" Kyo shouted, surprising Yuki as he had been very quiet today.<br>"I'm not pitying you, I just think that since I have to keep you under constant supervision I should be nice to you to make this easier or at least bearable for both for us." Yuki reasoned.  
>"Oh. Well I guess that makes sense." Kyo replied thoughtfully.<br>"Dinner's ready!" They heard Tohru shout from the kitchen.  
>"I guess we'd better go down. You do realise that we have to tell them about this, right?" Yuki asked.<br>"Yeah I know." Kyo responded.  
>Yuki barely realised what he was doing before he found himself hugging Kyo in an attempt to comfort him.<br>Kyo seemed just as surprised as Yuki but hugged him all the same.  
>"We'd better go downstairs before Tohru comes looking for us." Kyo said, a little flustered and blushing slightly from the spontanious show of concern.<br>"Yeah, we probably should. Come on." Yuki agreed and they made their way down to the table, both deep in thought.

It always looks like I've written much more when it's on paper, kind of disappointing. :(


	10. Telling

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Thanks for the reviews from mousecat, Wulfie89 and West Coast November. Advice has been taken into account for future chapters. :)  
>Lots of thanks to mousecat for the alerts etc. :D<br>I might stop doing this thanking people individually thing because it's the same people each time and if I just thank reviewers you brilliant people know who you are anyway! :)

I wrote most of this chapter in a maths lesson so it's a bit longer than usual, 3 and a half A4 sides hand-written, as I had nothing to get distracted by! :P (I hate maths, it's so boring!)

Chapter 10

When everyone was seated at the table and had begun eating the meal prepared for them by Tohru, Yuki sent a meaningful glance at Kyo and recieved a dejected nod in return to show understanding and reluctant acceptance.  
>"Shigure. Tohru. There is something Kyo and I need to inform you both of. I recently found out about a habit of Kyo's which I told Hatori about. He has requested that I keep Kyo under constant supervision in order to help him break this habit as it is dangerous to him. Therefore Kyo will be staying in my room as of today until this is under control." Yuki informed calmly as though this were something he did frequently.<br>"What might this habit be then?" Shigure enquired.  
>"It's up to Kyo whether he wishes to tell you that or not. However if he decides to tell you must not tell anyone. He does not wish this to spread around." Yuki replied.<br>Shigure and Tohru both agreed to keep it to themselves.  
>Kyo looked down at the table and fiddled with the hem of his shirt very uncharacteristically while mentally debating whether or not to tell them. Then, reaching a decision, he rolled up his sleeve to allow the others to see his arm all the while keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the table.<br>Tohru gasped and while Shigure managed to conceal his surprise slightly better he still looked shocked.  
>Yuki realised then just how well Kyo had hidden it from them all. Nobody had any idea. 'Did he just want to handle it all on his own and not ask anyone for help or was there another reason? Was he worried about what we'd think of him and how we'd react?<br>"Kyo. Why did you do that?" Shigure asked.  
>Kyo simply shook his head at the question once again.<br>"Only Kyo knows the reason so far. He won't tell anyone." Yuki explained.  
>"Oh." Tohru and Shigure said.<br>Kyo stood up to return to the room they would be sharing but Yuki grabbed his arm to stop him.  
>"Firstly I have not finished yet and you will not leave without me and secondly you will eat more of your meal even if not all of it." Yuki spoke firmly in a tone that allowed no argument.<br>Yuki had purposely not told the other two about Kyo's eating problems because he suspected that while they would have good intentions they may try to force Kyo to eat a lot which his body would not be able to handle after becoming used to such small amounts of food. In their panic, especially Tohru, they would probably not think of this though.  
>Kyo slowly returned to his seat and began to eat small amounts of food before stopping and aimlessly moving the food around his plate. Shigure and Tohru looked shocked once again at the cat's unexpected obedience.<br>Once the meal was finished, by all but Kyo, the cat and rat returned to their room. Kyo lay down on the floor engrossed in his thoughts while Yuki sat in his bed and completed some homework.  
>About an hour and two pieces of homework later, Yuki decided to go to bed. He grabbed some sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt and walked to the bathroom to change as he felt uncomfortable changing in front of Kyo.<br>Kyo stayed in the room and changed also into some sweat pants and moved to be laying in the sleeping bag he had laid on the floor for himself earlier. He pulled the covers up to his chin and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.  
>He re-opened his eyes when he heard the door close behind, he assumed, Yuki. Kyo looked at Yukiand had to wonder how a person could look so good even in baggy clothes like he was currently wearing (A.N. Kyo could manage it, easy! :P) Yuki was wearing plain black sweats and a baggy blue t-shirt that looked at least 2 sizes too big for him. Kyo, with a great deal of will power, looked away from Yuki and turned to lay facing the other way.<br>"Good night, Kyo." He heard Yuki say from behind him. His heart sped up from the simple yet kind gesture.  
>"Night." He replied as calmly as he could and tried to make it sound as though he didn't care. He thought he did quite well. Then they both fell deep into thoughts and sleep.<p>

Please read and review. Any advice given is really appreciated and taken into account. :)


	11. New routine

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Already written chapter 12, just ahve to type it up, so it should be up soon. Please review. :)

Chapter 11

While the actual activities of the day didn't change much the day seemed very different when I had to surprise Kyo although I found I didn't really mind. A lock with a code had been put on my door so that when Kyo wakes up early he cannot leave the room. I have to check the room every evening for any knives etc. that Kyo might have managed to sneak in and remove them if found and check Kyo for damage. At school I have to make sure I can see him at all times which isn't always easy, especially when you have a damn fan club stalking you, but I'm managing.  
>Tohru and Shigure haven't said much on the matter but they're trying to help however they can.<br>There have been a few times when Kyo has managed to get way from me but usually he isn't too bad. He's not that difficult to get along with either when you're nice to him which helps. I can't help thinking that on those occasions, what would have happened if I had been a bit later? With all the time he's been kept from doing it, would he have been frantc and done some serious damage? I shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

Flashback

_I returned to the room after a shower to find it empty and the door open.  
>'I must have forgotten to lock the door! Damn it!'<br>Shocked and annoyed at my own stupidity, I raced down the stairs in search for Kyo, desperately hoping he hadn't been out too long since my shower was only about 5 minutes long. I was as fast as possible for reasons such as this situation. I ran to the kitchen as that's where knives etc. were and therefore the most likely place for him to have gone.  
>I turned the corner and went through the door to find Kyo kneeling on the floor, rummaging through a drawer trying to find the knives as they had been moved just in case he went looking for them. I moved towards him and grabbed his wrist, stopping his search. Clearly startled, he turned around with wide eyes showing panic. I reached behind him and closed the drawer before sitting down beside him.<br>"Kyo, you can't do that. Don't you know how worried everyone is about you?" I whispered, still a little shocked by the situation.  
>Kyo didn't reply. He stood up and left meaning i also had to get up to follow him again.<em>

End flashback

If I had been any later... I didn't even want to think about it. I just need to focus on making sure it doesn't happen again.  
>I glanced over to where Kyo was sitting on the couch, watching TV while I did my hoomework at the table. Just a normal day recently.<br>Most days consisted of:  
>1) Wake up and listen to Kyo whine about being locked up at night like an animal.<br>2) Take a shower, making sure to lock the door again. (There is a lock on both sides.)  
>3) Check the bathroom for anything potentially dangerous before standing guard outside while Kyo takes a shower.<br>4) Eat breakfast and persuade Kyo to eat a reasonable amount.  
>5) Got to school, keep an eye on Kyo in lessons and eat with him at lunch once again trying to make him eat more.<br>6) Come home and do homework.  
>7) Eat dinner almost giving up making Kyo eat more.<br>8) Go to bed with Kyo complaining about being locked up again.

A tedious job but someone has to do it and I actually like helping Kyo. Why is that I wonder? I'll have to look into that later...


	12. Accidental confession

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

The long awaited confession chapter is finally here! Yay! :D  
>Reviews make me happy so are greatly appreciated and so is constructive critisism. :)<p>

I'm not really sure how I'm going to end this one so suggestions would be great.  
>I'm working on a few other stories at the moment so I might not update quite as often but i'll try to keep the updates quite frequent.<p>

Chapter 12 (No POV)

It had been 4 days since Yuki had begun supervising Kyo and the cat was becoming very irritable at being followed and watched all the time.  
>It turned out the rat was actually very alert, even in the mornings. Kyo had only managed to escape him twice. Once was when Yuki was in the shower and forgot to lock the door and the second was at school.<p>

Kyo had left the lesson without Yuki noticing but it only lasted a few minutes. Nothing came of this freedom though as Yuki quickly caught up to him and dragged him back to class.

Kyo was currently sitting on the roof but Yuki had followed only moments behind. This pissed Kyo off greatly as this was his place to sit alone and think and he could feel himself loosing his temper more than he had in days at the intrusion, all attempts to prevent arguements to make their lives easier completely forgotten.  
>"Go away." Kyo ground out through clenched teeth, patience now almost non-existant.<br>"No." Yuki dead-panned.  
>"Are you trying to piss me off or is it just natural talent?" Kyo yelled.<br>"I'm not trying to annoy you, I'm merely doing as was requested of me and preventing you from doing anything stupid. Again." Yuki stated.  
>Something about his uncaring tone and short answer made what little restraint Kyo had left disappear and everything that had been stressing him out over the last few days came out in one shot, it's unlucky target being the main cause himself.<br>"Don't say it was stupid! You have no idea why I did it and you have no right to judge. You wouldn't understand anyway, _Prince_ Yuki. Unlike me, everyone cares about you, everyone loves you even though they don't even know what you're really like. You practically ignore them all and they still fawn over you and treat you like a damn god! No cares about me, I'd been doing that for over a month and no one gave a damn so what's the big deal? You have no idea how much I needed to do that, how much I depended on it. I couldn't sleep, work, hell I could barely even think without it! I just couldn't get those thoughts to go away!"  
>Yuki's eyes widened in shock and surprise at the sudden outburst but said nothing for fear of stopping Kyo from opening up to him this much.<br>Kyo continued, "Stupid, pathetic, depressing thoughts that wouldn't, and still won't, go away except when replaced with pain. Do you know what it's like to have your own mind as your enemy? What purpose do I serve? I can't beat Yuki (this told Yuki that he no longer remembered who he was talking to or maybe even that he was talking out loud) so I'll just be locked up in a dark room somewhere alone after I graduate anyway. There's even less chance I'll beat him now. I couldn't beat him before and now that i'm in love him I stand no chance because I always worry I might injure... Oh shit..." Kyo trailed off, his anger-fuelled confidence now replaced with panic-induced regret and disbelief. He stood staring at Yuki wide-eyed, hands over his mouth and a blush slowly but surely makiing it's way up his face. Yuki couldn't help but think that the expression made him look utterly adorable and he was now quite sure he knew why he thought these kinds of things.  
>Kyo then jumped down off the roof and sprinted to his room with the speed and grace of the cat he transformed into.<br>'Shit. I didn't just tell him that. Except, of course, that I did! Damn! How stupid can I be?' Kyo mentally screamed at himself.  
>Yuki sped after him, still in a slight daze at all the information he had just recieved (had had screamed at him) and Kyo's accidental confession.<br>Yuki sped into Kyo's room to find Kyo sitting on his bed, head in hands and shoulders shaking.  
>'He's crying?'<br>"Kyo. Why are you crying?" Yuki questioned softly while making his way across the room to sit next to Kyo on the bed. The reason was quite obvious but he wanted to hear Kyo's reasoning from the cat himself as opposed to making assumptions.  
>"Because you hate me now. Probably think i'm disgusting. If you ever didn't hate me, that is. I thought briefly that you might like me too when you hugged me but then I realised how stupid that was. Of course you wouldn't like me..." Kyo trailed off once again and began muttering to himself about 'monsters' and how 'all those damn bastards were right'.<br>"Kyo." Yuki said, effectively cutting off his mumblings. "I could never hate you. Not again. Never again."

Hope you like the story and that Kyo's rant wasn't too over the top. Please read and review. :)


	13. Reaction

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Characters are seriously OOC in this chapter but they have to be to make it work. Sorry.  
>Remember that this is only my second fanfic and the other was a one-shot so please review and tell me how you think i'm doing. :D<br>Anyone got any suggestions for an ending because I'm not sure how this is going to end at the moment and sorry I'm not updating that often.

Chapter 13 (No POV)

"I could never hate you. Not again. Never again." Yuki said firmly yet there was a hint of desperation present in his voice.  
>"Why wouldn't you? No! You just feel sorry for me. You're just saying that. Knowing i'm in love with you and bringing my hopes up so you can tell me the truth and crush me!" Kyo yelled more tears falling from mesmerising crimson eyes.<br>"I would never do that to you Kyo!" Yuki insisted.  
>"Why should I believe you? Why should I trust you?" Kyo pleaded, tears flowing freely down his face as he gave up trying to stop them, "Why should-"<br>Any further words were cut off as Yuki leant forward and placed his lips over Kyo's.  
>Kyo did not respond at first as he had not yet managed to comprehend what was happening but now he began to move his mouth along with Yuki's. Yuki pulled away, breathless.<br>Kyo met his eyes and tried to see any regret there but could see only concern and anxiety.  
>"You should believe me because I love you too Kyo." Yuki whispered.<br>Kyo gasped. He had not expected that to happen although he was ecstatic that it had. More tears started to pour down his cheeks but this time of relief and joy. He rubbed at his eyes and face to rid himself of the tears.  
>"I feel pathetic. I'm sitting here crying to you and acting like a little love-struck school-girl." Kyo said, embarassed.<br>"You're not pathetic. Never think that again! You are strong for keeping this to yourself for this long although you shouldn't have. You are strong, gorgeous, determined and generally amazing. I hope that if ever you need to cry, you cry to me and you can act like that all you want because you're my little love-struck school-girl and I couldn't be happier that it's me you are in love with. My little kitty. I love you, my Kyo.  
>Kyo blushed furiously at the compliments, confessions and possessive words Yuki had spoken.<br>"Who made you seme?" Kyo muttered making Yuki blush too.  
>"It's all true though." Yuki whispered before once again leaning forward and capturing Kyo's lips in a passionate kiss.<p>

Might have gone a bit over-the-top with Yuki's little speech in the middle. Let me know if I did and I'll change it. I was considering having Kyo punch Yuki at the end for calling him a little kitty but decided it might ruin it so I didn't. I could add it in though if anyone thinks I should.  
>Anyway, hope you enjoyed, read and review!<p> 


	14. Epilogue

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Fruits basket or the characters and the plot of this is purely made up. If I owned it I would be making episodes instead of writing fanfiction, wouldn't I?

Warnings: Self-harm, Mild Yaoi.

Really sorry! I haven't updated in ages and this chapter still isn't very good but I just couldn't figure out how to end this story.

Chapter 14 (No POV)

After their confessions the two teens found living together far simpler and actually quite enjoyable.  
>After awkward night when Kyo had first shared Yuki's bed (1) it became a usual thing and Yuki often used this as a bribe when Kyo refused to eat much. Yuki would simply lean across to Kyo and whisper to him 'I guess I'm sleeping by myself tonight then' and Kyo would begin eating miraculous amounts gaining strange looks from Shigure and Tohru, which were ignored in favour of avoiding such deprivation, and a triumphant smirk from the rat from whom he would be deprived.<br>Gradually Kyo's eating regulated and he could quite easily manage the stand three meals a day and sometimes even have a snack in between. The other Sohmas were happy to the cat's recovery although most still did not know the main reason.  
>A few days after their confessions to each other they told a select few other people about their relationship and made them swear not to let Akito find out. They really did not want to find out how Akito would react to the news but they knew it would not be positive and would most likely be painful. They told Haru, Momiji, Tohru, Hatori, Shigure and Ayame.<br>Although they were worried about the close relationship between Shigure and Akito they decided he had a right to know as he was currently their 'Guardian'. They were also anxious about telling Ayame as he is known to be very talkative and may let it slip but they figured as he was Yuki's brother and they were trying to improve their relationship he deserved to know too.  
>It had been a month since Kyo had last self-harmed and with Yuki's reassurances and support he was beginning to feel the need to cut decrease and the remaining urges more bearable and controllable meaning he no longer had to be under Yuki's supervision but this didn't decrease they amount of time they spent together much. They rarely slept in their own rooms as they much prefered to share a bed although they had gone no further than kissing and touching as they did not want to ruin their relationship although they doubted that even the spped of light could ruin their relationship.<p>

Sorry! This chapter was absolute shit! :(  
>I just couldn't figure out how to end it but there you go. That's the end of this story. I've written a HaruKyo one-shot though that I will publish soon. Nearly the holidays though so I'll probably be writing more soon. :)<br>Thanks to everyone who read this story and lots of thanks to those who reviewed, you keep me writing. (Seriously!) :D


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